Ninja Versus Pirate Featuring Zombies by James Marshall

Author:James Marshall
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Tags: Horror
ISBN: 9781926851587
Publisher: ChiZine Publications
Published: 2012-05-01T14:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER SEVEN:

When You Get attacked By a Pack of ravenous Wolves, at least You’ve Got a Chance

After sending forty heavily armed troubled zombie teens to their second and final deaths at my high school, the zombie establishment leaves me alone for a few weeks. There’s nothing about a school shooting on the news. There’s no public outrage over the re-deaths of so many young zombies. No angry zombie parents stumbling toward my castle with torches and pitchforks. The zombies cover it up. They bury it. I’m disappointed. I need publicity. How am I supposed to end human suffering if the suffering humans (for the most part) don’t even realize they’re (always) suffering? I should know better by now.

Zombies control everything. The media is just one of their playthings. Zombies create reality. If they don’t want you to know, they don’t tell you. If you figure things out for yourself, they produce “experts”—aside from human children, experts are the thing zombies produce most of— and these “experts” have multimedia presentations that (should) prove to you that you’re wrong (even though you aren’t). If you’re still not convinced, the zombies invite you to one of their many zombie institutions for additional help (translation: infection). I’m contemplating when to make my next move when Baby Doll15 makes the decision for me.

She and I have been growing closer and closer. For some reason, I hardly ever want to have sex with any of my followers now. I’m just not into it. My followers don’t like Baby Doll15 at all, but they treat her well, because they know I want them to. My demons, Mike Hawk and York Hunt, love Baby Doll15. Whenever she isn’t around, they remind me about her. They praise her. They extol her virtues. It makes me nervous, but I can’t disagree with them. She’s amazing. Whenever we’re together, I’m happy, and wracking my brains for ways to make her as happy as she makes me, but nothing I buy her, and no place I take her, seems to make her as happy as when she sees me. I don’t understand. I can’t believe I have the same effect on her as she has on me. It seems impossible. Too good to be true.

I got her a diamond. It was an enormous diamond, but it wasn’t enough. So I had the diamond covered with a thick layer of gold. I didn’t think that was enough, either, so I had the thick layer of gold caked with more enormous diamonds. Then I had that dipped in gold again. I repeated those steps a few more times. It still wasn’t right. Why wasn’t it good enough? What was it missing? A ruby layer? I added it. An emerald layer? Stuck them on. A thick coating of platinum? I was never satisfied. By the time it got to the size of a ten-pin bowling ball—big, gold, and studded with huge diamonds—I was so desperate to give her something, anything that might begin to start

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